Happy Guy Fawkes Day!
And what better way to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day, but with a review of a video-game adaptation that has absolutely nothing in common with Guy Fawkes, 2006’s Silent Hill
Wow, that’s creepy. Let’s get to this.
Davis Films, eh? They’re behind the Resident Evil films, so there’s that
I hope the Sharon this person’s screaming for isn’t Sharon Stone. Yes, I went there, so get ready for much much better comments than that.
Who would put a GMC logo in a tunnel?
Seems like everything’s going to be alright with the girl screaming the film’s title after nearly jumping to her death.
See, now she’s off drawing off putting pictures of lions then turning convention on its ear by pretending the lion is meowing. Such wit!
I wish the movie told us hoe much time has elapsed in between the two scenes.
This girl might be narcoleptic with how much she’s been dozing off.
If Sean Bean called me, I’d answer, he seems ok.
How did people search for plot points before he advent of search engines?
You just know you can get a good tattoo from the restaurant at the gas station.
I’d have thought Rose would be more surprised her kid’s awake.
Let’s say hi to the creepiest police officer in recent cinema.
The horror of a married couple bickering about websites and who had read them!
Page gas station woman said the road doesn’t go to Silent Hill, but yet there’s clearly a sign indicating its location and what direction one should follow should they want to reach it.
The sign did not mention the perilous bridge and ashen pedestrians.
Now we’ll never know why the cop was going to pull Rose over for.
Silent Hill: where every day is Ash Wednesday!
So far, it looks like they’ve done a good job in recreating the look of the town from the game.
Though if memory serves, the fog effect in the game wasn’t by design, at least not entirely.
The air raid siren, I don’t remember if it was part of the games,as I haven’t played them, and yes I am aware that seems to be a recurring theme.
Nothing says unpleasant like a bunch of creepy burned Babis shambling toward you.
Those sure are persistent creatures.
Effective, not so much unfortunately.
Again, this one more than those before it, and some after it, really does a good job with the atmosphere.
I hope there’s a disheveled women who’ve lost their children in Silent Hill.
In the game, all the streets were named after horror writers, let’s see if it’s the same here.
Meanwhile in not Silent Hill, Sean Bean has finally
started searching for his missing wife and daughter.
We’re hearing for the first time, the Silent Hill theme.
That is one pesky policewoman.
Does Silent Hill fall under her jurisdiction, or is it like in the Dukes Of Hazard where one just needs to head toward the country line.
Nice to see this officer has some anti-city folk agenda.
Why in these situations do the police treat what is clearly a ghoul as they would any other suspect?
Good to know this film keeps some of the writer names on the street signs.
This must be a strict school, to have a plaque that says the foes of the righteous be condemned, all Bayside had were the occasional anti-Valley signs.
How many people take their kids and run off to Silent Hill?
Even the hopscotch board is unsettling, I mean more than one usually would be.
I’d say I was surprised that the children would have advocating witch burning, but then I remember Silent Hill is in West Virginia and the surprise dissipates.
Wow, that was odd, that corpse tied in the stall with barb wire.
If that’s how the younger students act, I’d be truly scared to see how the students of a Silent Hill High act.
And yes, Rose is still handcuffed, so she should be praised for dexterity, I guess.
Good job of her to take note that things she experienced before are again taking place.
I bet there’s a lot of asbestos in the school.
Well this is odd, some creature is lurching towards her, and making its own ivy to go on the walls.
Now some rats are attacking some..,.people shaped monsters.
There’s a I’d drawing fast and odd like she’s in a Japanese horror movie.
Meanwhile Chris & the detective continue shouting names, because it’s worked out so well thus far.
Pretty neat that they’re both at the school.
He felt her perfume, interesting.
But enough of that they have some more rooms to shout into.
Oh no! Someone, or something grabbed Rose!
Oh it was the cop, I’d forgotten about her to be honest.
That triangle headed fellow has one hell of a sword, I bet he was one of those characters you didn’t like facing in the game, and as you got near the end, he’d show up often. I hated things like that.
Too much shouting in this movie.
The hotel’s probably not crowded since the coal fire in 74,
I think they’ve come across the “Occupy Silent Hill” movement.
All this woman can talk about is her missing daughter. Other people are around too, you know!
I suspect Sean Bean will find some expository records seeing as how he broke into the office and all.
Witch hunters who didn’t want rm 111 to be found of course.
I wonder, are they still looking for Sharon? Nobody’s shouted her name in a while.
Who is Rose talking to?
Oh it’s a scary child,
That was an impressive trick….until we see that Rose hallucinated the girl on fire.
Wasn’t there a coal fire people were yammering on about, why can’t we see it?
Silent Hill: home of the most frequent air raid sirens since the Nazis bombed London.
Speaking of the sirens, who’s running them?
Really, one gunshot in the air shouldn’t stop everyone. She can’t shoot all go you guys.
And now, apparently a Christmas movie appears to have sprung up.
Oh, that’s Sean Bean a searchin’ for info.
I think he’s arresting you for breaking into the records office. But before that, a parable about the great fire of ’74.
I hope they at least give Rose the traditional Silent Hill weapon: the board with a nail in it.
Quiet, because they’ve been so loud up until now.
Is there a reason they can’t make copies of this map? Or perhaps someone could take a picture?
Her name was Cybill? Who knew.
These guys are so going to be arrested for murder if anyone gets out of Silent Hill and tells the cops.
And now, more of Rose wandering around a basement.
She is going to confuse the directions with the Konami code!
These nurses I believe were in the game,
Who’d have thought blind nurses wildly swinging scalpels would turn out badly.
Was the janitor in that flashback the detective?
Because, naming the father is for an episode of Maury, that’s why she’s not telling.
Would you say you were locked in Mortal Kombat?
If only we knew who Dhalia was.
I thought Alessa was telling this story, now I’m confused.
Oh good, another flashback.
That little girl saying that she’s the reaper is cute.
I don’t think I trust this girl.
Now this reminds me more of Fallout 3 than Silent Hill.
Doing everything he can likely includes yelling both his daughters and wife’s name.
I thought they beat Cybill to death earlier.
Aiding and abetting a demon is a serious crime in Silent Hill, as a cop, she should know that.
I think just lighting Cybill on fire would be a lot easier than this contraption she’s strapped to, but these people seem to know what they’re doing.
I’d have thought the demon wouldn’t keep trying the same trick if it wasn’t working.
Yes, we’ve established that Rose returned.
Burn in is their answer to everything.
See, it’s the first thing they go to.
Stabbing, is option 2.
Rose has paint thinner for blood, interesting.
As long as it’s not the band The Darkness, I think we’re ok.
The citizens of Silent Hill are very good at cowering.
So much barb wire, someone’s liable to get hurt.
Or… They’re all going to be killed, either one.
How much barb wire is too much barb wire, that’s the question here.
I have no answer, I’m not a barb wire expert.
People are very quick to forget about Sharon.
Silent Hill: where everyone dresses in oily rags.
Yay they’re safe, and free to reunite with Sean Bean.
Or to haunt him, they do have options.
The Great Video Game Movie Project 